Ground Control
by bikelock28
Summary: Tuesday 28th May 2013. Barney calls Ted from Belize. Ted explains that Chicago's off, and Barney realises something HUGE. Friendship fluff.


**Tuesday 28****th****May 2013. Barney calls Ted from Belize. Ted explains that Chicago's off, and Barney realises something HUGE. Friendship fluff.**

Ground Control

"Mos-byyy!"

"Oh, hey, Barney. I wasn't expecting you to call,"

"Robin said I shouldn't, but I had to know how my main man Mosby is getting on with the lay-deez of wherever he lives now,"

"Chicago," Ted reminds him.

"Yeah, that place,"

"Barney, it's been two days. And are you drunk?"

"A little," he concedes, "It's my honeymoon- I'm allowed,"

"Yeah, how _is _Belize?"

"Awesome. The beach, the sea, the animals, the-"

"So you haven't left your hotel room?"

"Not once," Barney confirms, without missing beat.

"Ha, I guess that means you're enjoying yourselves then,"

"More than you could imagine, Teddy Boy. _Literally._ Anyway, what's it like in that sucky place you live now which isn't New York?"

"_Chicago," _Ted says again, "And, um, I'm not there,"

"I told you your hair doesn't look as you think it does in the wind,"

"Shut up. And, err, that's not why I'm not there," Ted admits shiftily.

"Then how come?"

"I met a girl,"

"Oh, for Pete's sake," Barney groans, rolling his eyes.

"It was the bass player you wanted me to talk to on Sunday night," Ted deadpans.

"See! I _told_ you!" Barney shouts, changing his mind quickly, "You nailed her yet?"

"No, but I _did _ask her out. We're going to dinner tomorrow night,"

"Staying in New York for a girl you just met? Classic Schmosby!"

"You _wanted_ me to meet her, remember?" Ted reminds him, "You said she was perfect for me!"

"So what happened?" Barney asks, ignoring him, "Briefly though, please- I've got a wife I should be banging right now. I don't need one of your stupidly long stories,"

"You're the one who called _me_!" Ted protests, "And _you_ can't talk about long stories; the Three Days Rule went on forever! Like all your fake history lessons,"

"Ted, since the dawn of time-"

"Okay, okay, fine," he interrupts, "I went to the station and Tracy got out of a cab, and the old lady I was sitting next to persuaded me to go and say hi. And it's the craziest thing, Barney; remember the St Patrick's Day when we-"

"Oh my God!"

"What? I was keeping it short!"

"Heh, yours is short enough already, Ted. But- oh my God- you met her at the _train station_?"

"Yeah,"

"Right after you left the reception?"

"Obviously. What's your point?"

"So, what were you wearing when this happened?"

"I was wearing-" then he realises, "Oh, for God's sake,"

"Yes! _Yes!_Ooh,say it, Ted, say it!"

"If this is what I think it is, I'll never hear the end of it,"

"No, sir, you will _not_,"

"I don't want to say it," Ted whines.

"You met this girl, this lovely girl who you're going on a date with tomorrow- and when you met this girl, Ted, what attire were you wearing?" Barney beams, enjoying the build-up.

"God, I hate you….I was wearing a suit,"

"Ha-haaa! Ted met a girl when he was Suited Up! It's what I've been saying for years!" Barney trills, overjoyed.

"Barney-"

"We all know that Robin and me took way too long to get together- but I was pissed about that because we wasted time. Now I realise that we should have got married ages ago so you could Suit Up and not be looking like a trash collector when you met a hot girl. _And _a girl_I_ said you should go talk to! Ha!"

"You're never going to let this go," sighs Ted, resigned to his fate.

"That's why she's going out with you tomorrow, you know; cos you were Suited Up,"

"Actually, we talked and we got-"

"Ted-got-a-girl! Cos-he-was-Suit-ed Up! Ted-got-a-girl! Cos-he-was-Suit-ed-Up!" Barney chants over Ted's explanation.

"Oh my God," Ted groans.

"Hey, Ted?"

"What?"

"What's Lesson One?"

"What?"

"When we first met, what was my first lesson?"

"You remember that but you don't remember licking the Liberty Bell?"

"_What was Lesson One?" _

_"_I don't know. Start going to the gym more, or something," Ted guesses.

"That was lesson six! Lesson One was lose the goatee because it doesn't go with your suit, because Lesson Two was Suit Up!"

"What's your point?" he mutters.

"That I did it! I taught you how to live! I, Barney Stinson, taught you, Ted Mosby, how to live, despite how unbelievably lame you were. Ha-_haa_!"

"Oh, you taught me how to live? Barney, you're on _honeymoon._ With your wife, in a committed monogamous relationship," Ted points out smugly, "I think that proves _I'm_ the one who did the teaching,"

He has a point, but Barney avoids admitting that and goes back to shouting victoriously, "Ted-got-a-girl! Cos-he-was-Suit-ed-Up! Ted-got-a-girl! Cos-he-was-"

"Listen, buddy, I'm gonna go. Say hi to Robin for me,"

"What? Oh, sure,"

"Enjoy the rest of your honeymoon. If you two ever get tired of screwing each other, there's some great Mayan pyra-"

"I really don't think Robin and me need your history classes," Barney scoffs, "Good luck on your date tomorrow,"

"Thanks. I'm looking forward to it,"

"Oh, and now you're on a hundred percent success rate with this girl when you're wearing a suit, d' you mind if I give you one piece of advice?"

Ted sighs, "I know what it's going to-"

"Tomorrow night, Ted Mosby- Suit Up!

**Fin.**

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this li'l bit o' fluff. Please review! xx**

**PS- Whatever you're doing, stop doing it and Google "NPH Rolling Stone". You'll thank me XD**


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